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Bad Jokes.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by cityscaper, Aug 30, 2015.

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  1. cityscaper

    cityscaper Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever tried eating a clock? Isn't very time consuming?

    Post your bad jokes here:
     
    #1 cityscaper, Aug 30, 2015
  2. stlast

    stlast Well-Known Member

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    *Insert pun here*
     
    #2 stlast, Aug 30, 2015
  3. Greedy_Bee

    Greedy_Bee Well-Known Member

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    What did the ocean say to the lake.
    Water you doing?
     
    #3 Greedy_Bee, Aug 30, 2015
  4. cityscaper

    cityscaper Well-Known Member

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    What did the Astronaut 's fiancee say when he proposed in outer space?
    "I can't bre---....."
     
    #4 cityscaper, Aug 30, 2015
  5. MR_EVIL_OVERLORD

    MR_EVIL_OVERLORD Elite Legacy Legend | PRO | Genius Super Villain

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    Why did the peanut jump out of the tree and die a horrible death?

    He was nuts..
     
    #5 MR_EVIL_OVERLORD, Aug 31, 2015
  6. cityscaper

    cityscaper Well-Known Member

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    haahahhaha.
     
    #6 cityscaper, Aug 31, 2015
  7. Compositions

    Compositions Well-Known Member

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    What insect is good at math?

    An accountant!
     
    #7 Compositions, Aug 31, 2015
  8. cityscaper

    cityscaper Well-Known Member

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    *Bu-dum..... SMASH"

    Boo!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    #8 cityscaper, Aug 31, 2015
  9. Lekosa1

    Lekosa1 mineman

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    Why do people tell bad jokes,
    because they are funny.
     
    #9 Lekosa1, Aug 31, 2015
  10. RobbyG_

    RobbyG_ Well-Known Member

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    Brawls staff.
     
    #10 RobbyG_, Aug 31, 2015
  11. Pegleg98

    Pegleg98 Well-Known Member

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    What's green and has wheels?


    Grass


    I lied about the wheels.
     
    #11 Pegleg98, Aug 31, 2015
  12. whileloop

    whileloop Member

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    you can tuna violin
     
    #12 whileloop, Aug 31, 2015
  13. BAWSS5

    BAWSS5 Well-Known Member

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    A girl at a bar once asked me for the definition of a double entendre.

    So I gave it to her.
    ---------
    This one's slightly longer.

    There was a convention a while back for blondes who wanted to prove to the world that they were just as smart as anyone else. The turnout was fantastic, with nearly a hundred thousand blondes from all around the world packed into the seats of a large football stadium, a large podium in the centre for motivational speakers, and a large amount of news coverage.

    However, one reporter wished to truly test the intelligence of these blondes. With permission from the people running the convention, he got up the podium (with his camera crew) and asked for one representative to come to the centre for a televised interview.

    One blonde was chosen from the group, and made her way down to the podium. When she got there, the reporter started up a friendly interview, asking her name, age, profession, and so forth. Then, he started his real intentions.

    Letting the blonde know she was being televised, he asked her a relatively simple math question: "what is the square root of 81?" The blonde replied: "... 5!"

    And the entire crowd joined in an uproar of "give her one more chance!!! Give her one more chance!!!"

    Deciding to humour her, he asked another question: "what is 5x5?" The blonde replied "46!"

    And the entire crowd joined in an uproar of "give her one more chance!!! Give her one more chance!!!"

    Knowing he'd already gotten all he needed as tv footage, and trying not to laugh, the reporter asked one more, very simple question: "what is 2+0?" and the blonde replied: "2!"

    And the entire crowd joined in an uproar of "give her one more chance!!! Give her one more chance!!!"
     
    #13 BAWSS5, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  14. kindabigboy

    kindabigboy Well-Known Member

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    Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the bridge?

    Tequila.

    Sorry if this offended any of you.
     
    #14 kindabigboy, Aug 31, 2015
  15. Participated

    Participated Member

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    xD
     
    #15 Participated, Aug 31, 2015
  16. F1r3tar

    F1r3tar Highly Established Member

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    Your joke.
     
    #16 F1r3tar, Aug 31, 2015
  17. camman00

    camman00 Member

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    I got a joke... Ur face.... Jk luv u all
     
    #17 camman00, Sep 1, 2015
  18. xDepressione

    xDepressione Active Member

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    Why is it cold today?
    Because it's decembeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr


    so ****ing bad...

    my sister told me and i battered her and almost spewed up
     
    #18 xDepressione, Nov 10, 2015
  19. MiloAnderson

    MiloAnderson Active Member

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    Hey how many lips to flowers have?
    Tulips :blackeye:
     
    #19 MiloAnderson, Nov 11, 2015
  20. Thessalonika

    Thessalonika Active Member

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    Very nice one @TnTKitten :finger:

    What did the sheep say when they fell in love?
    I love ewe~ :wink:
     
    #20 Thessalonika, Nov 13, 2015
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