PUNS

Are you Mexican? 'Cause I Mexicant deal with your hotness

 

Don't call me later, call me dad not a pun... but its funny

 

Dunno where I remember this from but
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit. They're usually around 90 degrees.

& this cheesy pick-up line(?) only Koreans may understand:
Are you from Korea because you're my Seoulmate

 

Aha That was a good one

 

I know its Cheesy, but i feel Grate.

 

My wife wanted me to take out the spider. Turns out he is a pretty cool guy and he is into programming.

 

I'm reading this book about anti gravity.. It's impossible to put down!

 

They asked me to upgrade to windows 7, but I said
"I still love vista, baby" (idk, arnold schwarzenegger I guess xD)
or
I started walking around without any shoes on, it became a hobbit.

If no one sees colours the same, does that mean colour is a pigment of our imagination. huehuehue

 

There were some friars behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. Again, they didn't close up shop. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
@Cherryfilled

 

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve, when they feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it’s raining," says the man.

"No, it’s snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

 

Anti joke; A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face" the horse replies "my alcoholism is destroying my family"
Pun: What kind of horses go out after dark? Nightmares!

 

Man: "Hey did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?"

Hot girl: "No! Oh my goodness, is he okay?"

Man: "Yeah. Luckily, it was a soft drink."

 

Ok, asides from the 'A man walked into a bar' 'OUCH' joke, the next worst I can come up with is...

I tried to catch some fog the other day... I mist!

 

And God said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.



Btw a personal creation of my own, may be sub-par but it is original:

How do you recognize an evil villain from Nebraska? It's their laugh. Omahahahahahahaha.