Story The Return of EVIL

Dedicated to my peeps, you know you are!

Chapter One: Public Enemy Number One


"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
Roger Verbal Kent



Five years ago the headline read, “Thieves Steal $5 Billion from 100 Financial Institutions Worldwide on the same day.” INTERPOL, Europol and authorities from a consortium of different countries, including the U.S. FBI, pooled their resources to uncover the criminal plot behind an unprecedented cyber robbery spree. Experts reported that responsibility for the robbery rested with an unconfirmed group a multinational team of “super” criminals.

These criminals were never caught.

Present Day

My day started out like any other in the mountain town of Vail, Colorado. My house sits in the peaks known as the "Eagles Nest." Which provides me a strategic vantage point among the front range. I "woke" up at 1 am walked down to my "Evil Lair" located beneath the basement of my multi-million dollar house/fortres and did my workout.

Typically, I only require 30 minutes of sleep a night to fully recharge. I've figured out the science why whales and dolphins don't sleep. As mammals if either a whale or a dolphin fell asleep they would drown themselves. I am able to control the lobes of my left and right brains so that while one lobe sleeps the opposite lobe stays awake. I use my time wisely to create new and interesting technology or plans for acquiring more wealth and influence.

R.O.B.B.I.E. (Robotic Operations Battle Bot Intelligence Entity) my artificial intelligence program created the workout of the day to keep my body guessing. Nothing wakes you up like weighted pull ups, dead lifts, and throwing heavy weights around. Most super villains die in the field or spend the rest of their lives in a maximum security prison. I'm one of the few that retired at the peak of my career. I catch a glimpse of my reflection after my workout. I still look imposing, ripped, and powerful like a MMA heavyweight. I stand a towering 5'11, weighing in at a thunderous 220 lbs. with 7.5% body fat. To perform operationally efficiently against all manner of hero, villain, alien, and anyone else requires a lot of reps. I've been doing this for 20 years, I've got the experience and tech to beat anyone. It's a constant battle to hit the weight room, day after day, doing a remarkable number of reps. I'm not the biggest guy in the room but I'm extremely smart, fast, and strong enough to kill nearly anyone I meet. Which I typically have a plan to do within seconds of meeting them. Not that I need too but as they say old habits die hard.

R.O.B.B.I.E is the centerpiece of my lair. She acknowledges my presence and speaks to me with a smooth Texas drawl. Don't let that accent fool you, she is an artificial intelligence entity whose specs exceed that used by the national security agencies. She globally monitors the world and is connected to a massive information network. She stores vast amounts of information in my data warehouse. When I say vast amounts of data we are talking 5,000,0000 petabytes. She is linked to series of satellite link-ups, college campuses, medical libraries, as well as Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). This provides easy access across my information network anywhere in the world.

I walk by my rare collection of ancient artifacts from ancient warrior cultures. It includes Leonidas' sword and shield from the Battle of Thermopylae, and Fujibayashi Nagato's famous book of ninja secrets.

My mountain lair contains state of the art facilities such as: specialized labs, mechanized workshops, personal gym, a vast library of ancient scrolls, artifacts, space for various vehicles, and trophies from my criminal career. It also has medical facilities and multiple exits. I built a number of specialized vehicles throughout my career from my flying tank the heavily modified A-10 Warthog with vertical take-off and landing, to an Indy car tank, to my mobile fortress which I like to refer to as the Beast.

I reach the sparring room. Where I like to end my training fighting 10 different battle bots. R.O.B.B.I.E.'s control of the robots is flawless, she uses them with cunning and in a coordinated fashion. Nothing like getting punched in the mouth as a part of a morning workout. I've had much worse. That's when I notice the large bruise on my arm. My skin heals itself in seconds, the nanotechnology within me wastes no time getting me 100% operationally efficient. I've spent my entire adult life increasingly preparing for every possible scenario to escape and survive. I thank R.O.B.B.I.E for her rigorous training session and I know she has already calculated tomorrow's WOD.

Time for breakfast, half a dozen boiled eggs, with a pinch of pepper, and a shower. I'm flying to California later today to see someone special. Some might say I have the perfect life. I met my soulmate who I am madly in love with. She's appeared on the cover of Maxim and is constantly listed as one of the most beautiful women in the world. She also happens to be one of the most power super heroes on the planet. She lives in California and I live in Colorado. We make it work. As things get more serious, I plan on leaving my former life completely.

I might have forgotten to mention an important fact. The press referred to me as "Mr. Evil Overlord" and I was in fact "The Super Villain” of my era. My friends, of which I have exactly 7 call me "Evil". I’ve retired from the super villain life. After diversifying my income into legitimate income streams. I am completely a legit business man now, retired from the existence that so dominated my career.

To have an IQ of 130 or over is considered genius level intelligence. This places you above the 98th percentile on standardized intelligence tests. As everyone knows, IQ is a measurement of your ability to understand and solve problems. Currently there are approximately 7.25 billion people on the planet earth. Imagine if you will a bell shaped curve composed of all 7.25 billion little dots representing everyone on the planet's IQ. The majority of the dots would reside in the middle. Gradually, the pitch would slope down and to the right reducing from millions to thousands until you reach sparsely populated dots on the far right. As you continue to the right you find small particulates here and there. I’m in the 195 -- 0.00000001% or 1 in 8,300,000,000 category.

Many genius level people become scientist, engineers, doctors or even world leaders although that is rarely the case. The typical genius works as an underpaid lab assistant. They are also typically underutilized. Most never live up to their full potential.

I’m one of the few to become a Super Villain.

 

Wow, thanks bro.