The Revolutionary Truth

So, I was doing what I usually do and started screwing around. When It turns out I had to take a poop. So, you know, I did the deed when it turns out, there was 1 ply toilet paper. Of course, this came to a shock to me so I went up to the help desk and asked for better toilet paper. Yet when they handed me it, it was one ply again. I got frustrated so I went back to my room to think. This let me look out the window to see the milkman and the toilet paper man to drop by to refill milk and toilet paper. What I saw was disturbing and might not me suitable for younger viewers. He held both 1 ply and 3 ply. I had to investigate so I went to some JMOD's (Ritzy & SpeedCell) Where they avoided my question. I decided to take actions into my own hands and break in at night to see the truth. When I arrived I saw no security until I reached the staff room. Inside was a passed out PingWoo with a half eaten pizza and "Golden Girls" Season 2 playing on repeat. Of course, I snuck by their greatest warrior into the staff bathroom. I realized that everything there was made out of pure gold, yet they still had 1 ply. That's when I realized that above the door there was a sign saying "Payed for by Colonel". I knew he was behind this. I stormed out of the bathroom only to wake up PingWoo by accident. Of course, Ping woo was out of it and asked "who's there?" I panicked. If PingWoo caught me I'd be dead meat. So I decided that the best course of action was to get the milk out of the staff fridge and warm it up. After that PingWoo was almost fully awake, so I had to act fast. I quickly grabbed the gallon of milk and shoved it down PingWoo's throat, and started cradeling him in my arms singing a lullaby. That's when I realized I had no lullaby memorized, so I sung the first song that came to mind... "I like big butts and I can not lie, no other homies can deny..." After PingWoo fell asleep again I tiptoed all the way to Colonel's room. There he was, sleeping in his bed, cocaine at one side and a bazillion dollars at the other. Everything was solid gold, except for a poster of a cheeta that was soaked in, uh, human "babies". Anyways, I took a ton of golden stuff as I made my way to the bathroom. there it was, a solid diamond bathroom when 3 ply toilet paper. I aproached it when the lights shut off. "You really think you can get away with this?" A voice boomed behind me... (To be continued)

 

It's True though, ask PingWoo, I'm sure he'll say it's true.

 

Oh I almost forgot about this thread. Alright anyways continuing on. A voice boomed behind me... It was Oracle and Pingwoo and uh, Eil. (Does hype even still exist?) Anyways, I quickly spun around to find them behind me. "It seems we need to ban you for "the bad touch." I know what you're asking, what is the bad touch? Well when I opened the fridge

it felt really uncomfortable and started crying after I left, waking PingWoo. PingWoo hit up the dumb dog himself. So the dumb dog called Eil who called Jessie who called her densist who called BAWSS5 who called Oracle. So, I was being cuffed when Oracle sneezed. He sneezed so hard his pants fell down to expose a 12 inch subway sandwich if you catch my drift. He was thoroughly embarrased, so I took it as an oportunity to get to Colonel's bathroom. I sprinted to the door only to be shot. "Wait there's guns in minecraft..." I said aloud. So notch came it and banned SillyPickles for being ugly. So I proceded to the route when my GPS turned off. I got lost for like 12 years or so. Anyways, once I actually made it he had 3 ply. Thats it the end I'm sorry i didn't have enthusiasm, I want to play DbD.

 

shutup dusoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo we don't speak about that anymore