AMA Yay, free attention

Ask away.

Will only do opinions if you ask a question with it. Almost nothing is off-limits, I'll answer pretty much anything as honestly as possible unless it's something too personal.

 

I'll admit I usually make AMAs and don't answer them just to troll people but I'll actually answer them this time.

 

I've been very, very busy recently and it doesn't look like this'll be letting up anytime soon. I genuinely do intend to respond to all these questions properly, but I can't promise these responses will be quick. I'll try and make these responses as interesting as possible though.

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I'd prefer to go back and return to my past self, as long as it isn't permanent. I made way too many dumb mistakes for years and only really started to turn my life around a year or 2 ago, roughly after getting staff the second time round. Since pulling myself together I think I've done a pretty phenominal job at turning everything round (such as getting SMod on Brawl - in 2015, who'd have thought I'd end up being SMod?) but I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have to turn everything else round in the first place.

Who knows - I could've been primary mod on McPvP if I got staff when I applied back then, meaning I'd be SMod in 2015. Possibly an admin a year later, possibly would've meant Putty didn't see a point in returning, possibly would've became owner when Chap took the backseat instead? Unlikely, but I'll never be able to find out otherwise.

There's also someone who I'd like to speak to again; say goodbye to properly. That's a much longer story, though.

When you applied for staff, it was probably the toughest decision I've had to make on an applicant. You met all the requirements without question, but I still didn't think you were ready. I still can't blame myself for thinking that way and I still think it was wise to -1 you despite the more unusual reasoning for it.

That being said, you've definitely proved me wrong. You're a really chill guy and you're great to talk to, if a bit awkward at times. The entire Build community doesn't hate you, which is rare for any staff member involved in Build given the nature of it's community. You've done a great job and have surpassed my expectations, so good on you.

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I don't like choosing favourites but it's hard for me to deny you're one of the best Mod that Brawl has had for as long as I can remember. Very few staff members have ever been more active than you or banned players as quickly as you. Encouraging you to apply for staff and helping you through the application process is one of the proudest and most influential things I've done as a staff member, and I'm genuinely honoured to be able to consider you a friend.

The circumstance around your resignation was tragic, even for Brawl, and I'd urge the admins to take the steps required to ensure more resignations don't happen for the same reason.

Don't want to choose favourites.

Potentially. I wouldn't have been able to stay on the staff team regardless of the "Brawl-related circumstances" - I've had to focus on real life and it's helped me a lot.

I wasn't worried, mostly because I already had plenty of time to prepare.

I spoke to Lord_Roke before becoming SMod, asking him for advice (or, more specifically, why I was not promoted to SMod yet, at that time). I knew exactly what was wrong and exactly what I needed to do to get promoted to SMod and did just that. Combined with the fact that, at the time, there was no-one else I thought was suitable for SMod (yeah, I know I said otherwise, I lied, sorry), I had a lot of confidence that I was going to get promoted.

Also, I'll admit. I got @NMHRODMAN1SBEST to ask in the Staff Q&A thread when SMod promotions were coming (yes, that's how desperate I was), so I knew when my chance was going to come around too.

This time allowed me to prepare exactly what I wanted to do as an SMod. I assumed the roles I would get would be HG manager, hackers/bans/appeals manager, Brawl News manager, WW manager and hack test manager (and, in the end, I was right!) and I planned out exactly what I wanted to do.

Due to time constraints, and the fact that SMod really gets less authority than people think it does, I was not able to carry out most of these plans. I definitely think I could have done a much better job as an SMod if I was able to adapt to the role properly. Though, when I was first promoted, I was confident I was finally ready and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

I was applying for staff on McPvP for years. This was mostly because a lot of my friends were in the staff team or were also applying for staff, namely FreakingCreepy. He was such an unauthordox staff member - much less "robotic" than a lot of staff members are. I looked up to him and wanted to be like him, and thought I had it in me to genuinely be a good staff member that the community would like. I got very close. According to @Miskey, McPvP's staff team finalised all the applicants down to him and I, and they decided to go with neither of us. Some time later, I was selected to be a staff member for Seige, but the entire network shut down a week before I was going to be promoted.

Then, McPvP shut down. I moved over to Brawl, and as some people would probably remember, I hated it. I had so many issues with Brawl, many of which I still have, so I ended up giving up on my goal to become a staff member. I got permbanned from the forums on Boxing Day 2015, and that was the end of it...

...until I asked Putty to be unbanned. I don't remember his entire response and the messages are lost to time, but he was not aware I was banned in the first place. After telling me to stop "being a ***got", he unbanned me earlier than people usually get unbanned from the forums. I wonder if Roke was pissed off about that.

A few months later, I posted my first application, mostly as a joke. I wanted to laugh at what the deny message was gonig to be, since I was almost certain I was going to be denied. Even now, I think accepting me when I was accepted was not a wise decision and was a huge risk, so it was a huge surprise when my deny message was, paraphrased, "Keep on being active in all 3 areas, and continue your improved maturity as you've just recently been unbanned". I got an overwhelming amount of positive feedback from the community, as well - something like 50% of votes were +1, which was a lot more than I was expecting.

This surprisingly positive feedback reinvigorated my desire to join the staff team again. I decided that instead of whining about the issues with Brawl, I'd do everything I possibly could to fix these issues. I remembered a promise I made to a bunch of salty McPvPers around the time the server shut down after an argument with @Lacota that, despite thinking McPvP's management after the "Budokkan incident" were a bunch of morons, I'd still do anything I could to support McPvP and to stop it from shutting down, or to revive it afterwards. This time, I figured, was my chance.

And with that, a very long journey of making about half the anonymous staff complaints, constantly complaining to higher-ups and walking along the very blurry line of "showing the community I agree with their issues and am trying to work to solve them" and "flaming Brawl publicly" began. A journey which I still feel hasn't ended.

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Due to the reasons of my resignation, and the fact it was so recent, it won't be for a while. Exactly when? Can't really say, after all it's not like i'm planning all this out. Even if i was planning it all out, i wouldn't tell you this publicly at least. Might be some time in 2019, might be before - who knows. Brawl could have shut down by then but if not, it'll be a while before you see me on the staff team again. Even if i did reapply there's still no 100% chance i'll get it, anyway. Remember, it's only pretty recently since i resigned, so it likely won't been soon.

A genuinely real guy. You've joined the staff team straight from the community, and all the very best staff members Brawl has ever had has done this. I reckon you'll go on to do great things.

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As soon as my plan to overthrow Brawl finally works. Gonna bring back HG and sell CTF to Hypixel

By far, my proudest accomplishment on Brawl is helping someone go through a very hard time in their life.

They were terribly, terribly depressed - I can think of several times they attempted suicide. This depression drove them to insanity, and he drove all his friends away from this. He was constantly insulting his friends very badly, even threatning to DoX one of his closest friends, because depression and suicidal thoughts can just consume you like that. I was the only person who stuck with him through all of that.

Miraculously, he's still alive.

I don't talk to him anymore after he sent some very homophobic messages to me (on a discord alt - this was after I blocked him) despite everything I did for him. However, to my knowledge, he's recovering and is doing well. As well as this, I've had a lot of people have came to me about some super personal issues, asking for comfort or advice or just someone to vent to and I've had the opportunity to help a lot of incredible people, going through really tough times that they don't deserve to go through.

Nothing I have done on the staff team could possibly compare to this.

A lot of people tell me bad things about you but honestly, I don't see any of it. You're super chill and I think you'll make a great staff member.

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Well, at the moment I'm doing an apprenticeship in cyber security. I'm hoping to get a career in it - hopefully doing penetration testing. It's a very well payed job (consultant pen testers can get upwards of $200k) and essentially lets me hack into businesses but not be a bad person for it. It just sounds ****ing awesome. Not to mention, businesses are crying out for people experienced in cyber security - already had 3 businesses offer me a job once I've finished my apprenticeship (1 of them being the business I'm currently working at).

At some point in my life I want to move away from the UK to somewhere nicer. Probably somewhere like Spain or Florida, who knows. This'd end up being at least when I'm 30-35 years old so I'll have probably settled down with someone by then, so I guess it also depends if they want to move too. Who knows, it's pretty far into the future.

In the long run I also want to do either cycling or rollerskating on a national level. Cycling is a bit optimistic but I've already been invited to one of the best roller derby teams in the UK and am on the radar of some of the people who played in the roller derby world cup. Not sure if you know much about roller derby but I'm a pretty good jammer - only been to a couple of training sessions so far and even though I'm still too young to participate in any proper matches I can put up a good fight.

I also want to set up my own business at some point. I've got a few ideas and might be starting this in the coming months. I've been working on some software which allows me to hijack RF devices (last week I got it to work on my drone - yes, a ****ing drone) so I'm hoping I can sell this for a cheaper price than any competitors. Also looking at ways to use AI and machine learning to make a network scanner that finds and fixes vulnerabilities faster than a human could find and exploit them. Very early days and beyond my scope at the moment, would probably be something I do further down the road if I'm able to get funding for it. Who knows, it's pretty ambitious but so far it's going very well.

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That's all for now. Nearly midnight and I need to think of a nice way to word my opinion of Miskey ;D, will do the rest in a couple weeks probably. As you've probably (hopefully) realised, I'm gonna be putting a lot of effort into the responses. Ask some difficult questions ;D