How to write a good Staff Application.

Warning: Copying this thread will get a virus on your computer, copy with caution!

Be sure to leave a +1, writing this took almost 2 hours and I put in a lot of effort in it
P.S. I think I added this to the wrong category. If you are mod, I'd appreciate for you to place it where it belongs. Thanks -EL
It has come to my attention that, according to my studies done at Cambridge University, that the amount of terrible staff applications in the forums, IS TOO DAMN HIGH! Now, before you even write one, I want you to read this.
Before you even write one, ask yourself these questions, because you have to read them if you want to get a big YES from your favorite moderator. Did you just started playing the server? I'm talking about a maximum time of 3 months. If you answered yes, might wanna start getting more active. If you just signed up for forums, same deal, well, kinda. In forums, it is how active you are that matters, meaning if your only post was about that one crazy stupid pathetic idea about having Tobuscus come to play here, how you were going to abduct him and force him to play, you're gonna get a big No. Oh and, I want to introduce you a abbreviation that has been quite common here, SNN. It stands for Short New No! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! Now lets get serious again. Have you gone to puberty yet? If you answered no, you're too young to be a moderator, as the requirements are x>= 13 (That's equal or greater than for those of you that haven't taken Algebra 1) Though, if you impress them, you might get a shot at it. Are you mature? Have you ever gotten banned? If you answered no, then yes, good luck getting accepted bro. Next question, Do you know what the hell is Teamspeak? If you answered no, you might want to fix that. If you answered yes, then good, now here's the next question, did you know we Teamspeak in this community? If you answered no, THEN GET ON IT DAILY AND TRY NOT TO SING AND ANNOY PEOPLE! If you answered no to any of these, stop that mod app right now, and get ready to be more active than that one super hot foreign Olympic that you only have seen once but are now craving him or her. If you meet all these requirements, you have completed Step 1.5 LEL I'm going to go make out with Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian.

So you have now completed Step 1.5,
You:So now can I write that mod app?
Me: HELL NO.
This is where most people go nuts and mess up their opportunity to become FAMOUS err I mean a MODERATOR. Before you even write your mod app, you're going to need a little help. First things first, GOOD GRAMMAR! You know the lessons your old English teacher has taught you but you slept in her class? YEAH YOU'RE GONNA NEED THEM ! In the interwebs, good grammar is necessary, since you cannot express yourself with your tone, voice, diction, facial expressions, odor expression, and all that bla bla bla. Use those punctuation keys, they were made for a reason! See? In that sentence, you could see I was showing my attitude towards those that don't use their punctuation at all! Good grammar also shows you how mature, intelligent, and the type of person you are. Now, I'm going to review a group of similarly lettered words that are commonly misspelled, and could give the reader of your app, the wrong idea.

They're, Their, There
I've seen these words too many times, TOO MANY TIMES, been misspelled, and give a weird impression in a sentence if used incorrectly.
Their- This word means that a something, belongs to or is owned someone. In other words, it means it owns something.
Ex) Their mod app was so bad, my cat disliked it.
They're- This is a contraction of "They are". I don't recommend using the contraction form, since contractions are not formal, especially in a mod app.
Ex) They're going to school tomorrow together, since Sharkeisha's mom wouldn't drive her to school.
There-This refers to a place, or an idea. It can also be used to refer the fact to something
Ex) Look over there!
Ex) In this world, There are many idiots that deserved to be shanked brutally.
Your, You're
Your basically mean something you own, You're is a contraction of You are.
Ex) Your mom is so stupid, she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
Ex) You're stupid if you use incorrect grammar.
A lot
A lot is not spelled Alot.
It's, Its
It's, no not Itz, is a contraction for It is. Its, is used to indicate a possession.
Ex)It's time for a nap Jimmy.
Ex)The Honey Badger is a very aggressive mammal. Its tough fur allows it to go unharmed in a beehive.
Weird
Although not confused with any other word, it is commonly misspelled as "Wierd"
Then, Than
Then, is used to indicate the next action in time. Than, is used when comparing two subjects.
Ex) I used to live in the ghetto, then, I moved to Hoboville.
Effect, Affect
Effect is a noun, meaning it is the change as a result of an action. Affect is a verb, it means to have an effect on something.
Ex) The effect of bad grammar in a essay is catastrophic.
Ex) He was affected by the new law which prohibited bacon.
To,Two,Too
To, is used as a preposition before a noun. Two, means the second number after 0. Too, could mean having excessive amounts, or to be used as "also". But, don't replace "also", with ,"too", if it does not make sense.
Ex) We had to go early, it was getting dark.
Ex) I have two apples.
Ex 1) You put too much soap in it! Ex 2) I play baseball, too!

Now, we have covered spelling and how it can affect your mod app. Be sure to capitalize specific nouns (i.e a company name or a type of car), and the beginning of a new sentence. If your sentence is long, you might want to revise and add commas. If you make it too long, you might want to add a semicolon ; when you start talking about two or more subjects. Or, just use a period. Don't use too many "and"'s. Also, if you want to end a sentence, only use . ! ? Another thing I see that is considered incorrect grammar is Capitalizing Every Word You Type. Last thing I forgot to mention is, don't use slang, it is informal.
DISCLAIMER: Please do not write like this, it is terrible even with correct grammar.
Bad example of grammar:
My name is Tobuscusismylove2004 and I like to be a mod app and I want mod and I think its cool because your awesome and this is wierd too say this but its not, i hope this doesnt effect my chances.
Good example of grammar:
My name is Tobuscusismylove2004 and I like to be a mod app. I want mod, and I think it's cool because you're awesome; this is weird to say this but it's not. I hope this doesn't affect my chances.

Alright, where was I? Oh yeah, CONGRATZ MAN! You have now completed the Grammar level! Wait, what are you doing?! STAPH WRITING THAT MOD APP! PLZ! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Now that I got your attention, comes what to write in your mod app
Examine the app format. This will give you a clear idea of what to expect, what to write, and things to consider. This is very useful in real life when you apply for a job! So treat this as you would treat a resume. Some tips to keep in mind are

• Don't lie, this will eventually show, especially if you lied about how you were the top admin of PMC!
• Don't type in unnecessary words just to make it look longer. Remember, depth is valued more than length!
• Explain everything you write. Like mentioned above, how depth you go not only gets the admins crazy, but it shows your personality and philosophy.
• INCLUDE A DAMN POLL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
• No smilies It is not formal to write them in a application.
• Don't you even think about begging, admins hate that
• You only get one shot! Don't mess it up!
• Write to the point! Don't go too far that you end up talking about your mom's kisses.

When writing your application, use good vocabulary, the better words you choose, the better tone you give your app and might describe even further what you are trying to say. Also, don't type in one word answers, it shows you 1. Don't care and 2. You are not sure what to say and just came up with the first word you thought of. Like mentioned previously, some words can grant a greater affect and show your character. A good example I use is when using the word "think". The word "think", basically says you are not sure, gives the sense and idea that you are weak. No one wants to hire a weak moderator that will cry when he hears the foul language the internet is capable of. Show your confidence! Use something like "I strongly believe I am capable of this job", instead of ,"I think I am capable of this job". Show how you believe, show your philosophy and your smartness. This brings me to another point, diction. Everyone loves a good vocabulary, or diction *don't laugh*, but sometimes, too much can make you sound like an Old English speaker. Don't use words that fall in that category, you are not Shakespeare, and especially if you have no plans in using them In game. To give you a better understanding, I will show you an example of what I value a good app.
Good example) (Ok I am biased )
IGN:FC_MercuryEL7
Skype: LEL YOU ARE NOT GETTING MAH SKYPE I didn't write this in the original app FYI
Age:14
Maturity:I strongly self believe I am extremely mature in the right occasions. 9
Experience: I have been ranked admin of multiple servers, where I gained the rank due to my character and maturity. I've been crowned Co-Owner by a friend, though I believe, despite the bias, I made an excellent co-owner whilst the server was up. I am currently rather inactive, only serving as a mod on a factions server. I consider myself successful in moderating thanks to my methods that I have used as the result of my experience.
If you were a staff member, and you had ban,kick, and jailing commands, would you abuse it?
Negative. The rank of a admin is not given, it is earned and it should be an honor to have it. I always see myself as just a regular player. Being an Admin does not mean you are of a higher class and have this uncontrollable power of a tyrant. As a moderator, I strongly believe in having an appropriate way of moderating. Having a good one is the most effective way in my opinion to keep a server stable, and avoids having excessive power. Should the player be caught in the acts of hacking, I would firstly warn them in a appropriate yet demanding manner. Screenshots, video, or any other methods of capturing the game will be used for evidence of misbehavior. Normally, some players will stop here, therefore saving him from a ban. Then comes kick. If the player has been warned 2 or more times and yet has followed orders, I will kick the player from the server. The kick serves as intimidation, and if not stopped by a warn, sometimes they stop here, unless he is doing it for excitement or for his own amusement. Finally, the last step is Ban. I really tend to avoid this, but if the player seems to test my limits, then I will put a limit to him. I would temporarily ban him if allowed, and evidence and the story will be submitted to owner or someone of a similar rank, so they can have a final decision in the consequences of the player. I never perm ban, as I feel the need the case should be discussed with other admins or owners to reach a final decision.
What can you do too help contribute too our new server?: I'd be glad to provide a safe yet fun server to all the community members joining. I would maintain the peace and help the newcomers in our server if such help is required. Enforcing the rules is an obvious one. I would help in all that is needed or expected of my rank in the server with my experience that includes but not limited to redstone, building, etc.
What position do you want? Co-Owner. I understand that this rank is of much power, and indeed I should keep that in mind the times I am logged on the server. This rank is not foolishly given, but earned, because you are trusted to keep this role and go by the rules. I understand if I do anything malicious, shall the correct consequences take effect.
Bad example) https://www.brawl.com/threads/6705/#post-98465

After you have written a good, formal application. It is time to revise it, read it right to left, as this helps in finding grammar mistakes. When I posted this, I edited like 4 times after I revised it 5 times. Good luck!

 

Thanks a lot!

Thanks for your appreciation

You're welcome.

 

Thanks

Thanks
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Sir yes sir.

 

Thanks I tried my best to not be some boring online teacher by adding some humor

 

Thanks! I'm glad you did.