What is the best anti-joke you have ever heard???

Anti-jokes.

 

Spoiler: No offense to Christians

A man died. He went right to Saint Peter, lucky. In the room with the gate to Heaven was full of clocks. The man asked Saint Peter "What is all these clocks?" "They track peoples sin." "Oh! Where is my clock?" Saint Peter pointed to a clock that had not spin at all. "Yay I'm free of sin. Where is John F. Kennedy's clock?" Saint Peter pointed on a clock that had moved a little. "So, where is Erna Solbergs clock?" "Oh, that clock we use as a ceiling fan."

 

Knock knock.
Who's there?
An AR-15.
An AR-15 who?
*silence*

 

:O
Was not AR-15's silenced?

 

Do you know the 5 second joke?
No.
Already done.

 

How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his family

 

Man goes to doctor.
Says he's depressed.
Says life is harsh and cruel.
Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says, "Treatment is simple.
The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight.
Go see him.
That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears.
Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
ahahaha

 

What's worse than an worm in your apple?
The holocaust

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

 

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?

 

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

 

What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One alive in the middle.
What's worse than that?
It eating its way out.
What's worse than that?
It going back for seconds.

Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why did the clown fall off of the swing?
Little Susie hit him with the blunt side of an axe.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.

How do you get a baby out of a blender?
Tortilla chips.

What's bloodier than a baby shot at point blank with a shotgun?
The wall behind it.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?
I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What did one lawyer say to another in the bathtub?
We are both lawyers.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second clown fall out of the tree?
He was dead too.
Why did the third clown fall out of the tree?
He was tied to the first one.
Why did the fourth clown fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure.

I will add more if I think of them.

 

Pickup line troll:
Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Fak of I have a bf.
Boy: Because it looks like you fell on your face.

 

Why Bill Gates named his company Microsoft?
Because he named it after his dick.

 

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday?
Nothing, he didn't make it that far.

 

Those are both kinda mean... :v I mean, people with cancer will have it tougher than any of us will ever have.