Story Original Story

THE LEGEND OF JOHN SCHMIDT


John Schmidt had just woken up. The sound of horses outside was deafening.

John: “What is all this commotion about?”

His squire, Michael, enters the room.

Michael: Sir, there are men outside asking for you!

John: Ill be right there.

Getting dressed, John goes outside and is immediately approached by a man in armor.

Armored Man: Are you John Schmidt?

John: Yes I am.

Armored Man: We have an assignment for you. The princess is going to be killed by the evil king. We need you to kill him first.

John: When do I leave?

Armored Man: As soon as possible.

John: Michael! Ready my equipment. And get yours also. Your coming along.


John and Michael travel across the forest, approaching the kings castle. A man in a hood approaches him.


Hooded Man: Are you John Schmidt?

John: Yes I am.

Hooded Man: Who is this man next to you?

John: This is my squire, Michael Finnigan

Hooded Man: My men and I would like to assist you in your quest.

John: Well, I suppose it would be easier. How many are there?

Hooded man: 35 men

John: Wonderful. Lets get moving.


While traveling, the hooded man starts talking to Michael.


Hooded Man: Michael, why are you never clean shaven?

Michael: Well, I cut them off and they grow in again. People call me “Poor, old Michael Finnigan.” They even made a song!

Hooded Man: Maybe one day you will be able to get rid of the whiskers on your chin.

Michael: I hope so.


John and the men finally reach the castle. They wade through the moat, get into the castle, but suddenly, they are spotted.


Anonymous Guard: ALERT! ALERT!

John: Hold them off while I go to kill the king!


John then goes to the kings room. He enters the door, and the king is holding a knife against the princesses neck.


John: You don’t want to do that.

The King: You didn’t think I would just let you barge in here and kill me without protection did you?

John: Do you know who I am?

The King: Probably some nameless assassin who kills for money!

John: My name Is John Jacob Jingle-Heimer Schmidt!

The King: NO! IT CANT BE! HIS NAME IS MY NAME TOO?

John: And whenever I go out, the people always shout-


The Hooded man and his men yell

Everyone: THERE GOES JOHN JACOB JINGLE-HEIMER SCHMIDT NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA


John then throws his sword at the king and the impact sends the king flying out of the window. The princess is safe, and there is peace in the kingdom.


3 days later, John returns home and his glorious battle song is sung down to this day.