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Story Operation Breakout.

Discussion in 'Literature' started by SoMuchWinning, Jul 27, 2014.

?

Sequel much!

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  1. SoMuchWinning

    SoMuchWinning Well-Known Member

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    Part 1 - The Prequel.

    It all started pretty simply. Two days ago, an informator of FBI got attacked. As he entered a store, which sold vegetables, he noticed something was wrong. When he looked outside, he noticed 2 dark Land Rover jeeps. They went past the store and stopped 11 feet away. Suddenly, 3 men appeared. One of them wore jeans, a t-shirt and a backpack, and a mask on face. Other two also wore masks. Then, they entered store, took out weapons - two of them had pistols and third one took out a sub machine gun. The Informator hid behind a freezer, hoping that the people wouldn't see him. Suddenly, there was a shout: "Where the hell is he?" Then, came a reply: "I don't know what are you talking about!". The informator heard a weapon being loaded, and then, a loud shot. He looked at the left side, hoping that nobody was there....when suddenly multiple bullets went a few inches away from his face. The informator sprinted at the armed man, kicked him in face and grabbed the gun. He shot 2 or 3 rounds and then turned around. Other two people had taken cover by that time, knowing that their mate was shot. They opened random fire, without aiming. The Informator took cover behind a fruit stand, when suddenly he heard a gunfire. Not from a pistol, but from....an assault rifle, it was silenced. The Informator heard a scream, it could be heard in the store, with a good amount of acoustic. He looked and saw a body on the floor. It was from one of the trio that had entered. Then, something hit his shoulder. It was painful, he could feel it well. Knowing that the end is close, he took the sub machine gun and fired the entire mag empty at the last person he noticed. The person fell on the ground, trembling. Then The Informator saw a team of operatives - armed with rifles and powerful weaponry. He knew that he had to meet up with an agent, but not like that. The operatives shouted: "Get down, get the hell down!" Suddenly, they approached the Informator, and said: "Is your name Andrew?" The Informator replied, frustrated of what had happened: "Yes, I am." Suddenly, operatives grabbed him and said: "If you say a single damn word about us, you'll never see the daylight"
    Then, they exited the store and entered a bus. On it, there was written "FBI"..........
     
  2. BrawlerAce

    BrawlerAce Well-Known Member

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    Not bad. A few things I can't help but point out, though.
    -Conveniently, when the informator charges at one of the armed men, he doesn't get gunned down!
    -Why would he give his actual name to someone he didn't know?
    Other than that, nice story. A sequel would be nice.
     
  3. SoMuchWinning

    SoMuchWinning Well-Known Member

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    1) The armed man didn't expect for someone to hide behind a freezer.
    2) The operatives work for FBI, outgunning and outnumbering The Informator. So, he has to elaborate after all. I'll clean up the mess in sequel, there are plot holes.
     
  4. Krcoon

    Krcoon Well-Known Member

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    Where am i in it? :wink:

    Other than that it's great :grinning:
     
  5. SoMuchWinning

    SoMuchWinning Well-Known Member

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    Do I have to add you? Fine, you'll appear on PT.3
     
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