Benefits, and how to sell your soul to Satan

If you are a fanatic who can't take a simple joke I suggest you to leave, therefore if you stay Satanas will chase you forever.

The benefits of selling your soul to Luciferi includes a reserved slot in Hell (Pandemonium, if wished. [Not recommended, weather it's horrible there]), also the protection of Tiamat, and a personal speech from Cain.
Samael will provide you enough children to make all the rituals as you wish.

To start, you need to take a shower in signal of respect to Satan. After the shower you will need to dress yourself in black (Not needed, but looks badass). Need a dark room and some black candles. Now you have to kill a goat and draw a pentagram in the floor, put every candle in the star's corners.
Now in a piece of paper you need to write with your own blood: "In nomine dei nostri, Satanas/Luciferi Excelsi.
Apage Satanas.
In the name of Satan, the ruler of the earth, the king of the world, I command the forces of the dead to attend me.
We who have ruled in his name, the ones who know the truth of our father. I, (insert name here) sell my soul for the ethereal infinity to Satan.
In nomine dei nostri, Satanas Luciferi Excelsi. "

After that (if you haven't fainted due the blood loss) you will need to burn the paper with the candles.

Then shout: "Ave Satanas!"

And congrats, you have sold your soul to the beast of the 666.

Any questions?