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[Guide] How to get Women on CTF

Discussion in 'Guides' started by EmperorTrump45, Sep 24, 2015.

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  1. EmperorTrump45

    EmperorTrump45 Dank Memer

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    One of the main curiosities in a young mans life is how to get the women. Admittedly, it has taken me some time to come to grips with this, but the fact is there are few things one thinks about - aside from when the next episode of The Walking Dead comes out - than how put the hos before the bros.

    This guide is for those of you who want to meet someone without actually having to do that real life thing. And frankly, if many of you are those people I don't blame you one bit. To actually talk to a girl these days you've got to stand by in 100 pounds of awkwardness while the female subject finishes talking to her 7 different girlfriends about her makeup. It's crazy man! Now some of you might think this experience is a little generic but trust me I have experienced it, and it didn't end well - or in other words I didn't get any nooky.

    That brings me to my first point in this guide!

    1) When going a-courtin' online do not instantly bring up sex. Most girls who actually do play Minecraft are not sensual massages or work for sketchy escort services. Therefore, if you bring up sex the moment they tell you that they are a girl there's a 50/50 chance they'll either think you're a 54 year old pedophile, Christian Grey (you don't want that), or a troll. Now being thought of as Christian Grey might not be such a bad thing, if he himself were not also a 54 year old pedophile who is also (secretly) Edward Cullen the Annoying Sparkly whatever from that one series.

    2) Put personality before beauty. One fact that should be immediately accepted is that most girls do not look like Britney Spears, which now-days is probably a good thing. Nevertheless, one thing that girls like to be told is that they have a nice sense of humor or that they're kindhearted, rather than that they have the 'World's Best Boobs' or 'dat booty'.

    3) Remember that Women want CTF'ers. When you meet someone who is a legitimate girl online, keep in mind that the moment you tell them you play CTF they will be hot for you. They don't even have to know what CTF is, the moment you say that you will instantly become their Brad Pitt and they will be your Beyonce. See this example chat-screen with me and some random girl I met on Etsy:

    Me: I'm a CTF'er.

    Girl: OMG - you sound sooo hot.

    Me: I know. I tend to have that affect on the ladies :^)

    Girl: Are you brad PITT?

    Me: Maybe :wink: I am five foot eleven.

    Girl: OH MY GOD! YOU ARE! YOU'RE BRAD PITT!

    Me: haha.

    Girl: You're sooo my bae. Marry me Admiral.

    Me: Well I'll have to talk to my parents about that first.

    Girl: No I can't wait to meet you!!! I can already imagine your hot breath down my neck, and your auburn eyes and wavy hair... OHHHHHH! WHEN CAN WE MEET? I WANT TO FEEL YOU SOOOO BAD

    My Mom: What the hell is this?

    Me: Uhhhhh.....

    Mom: You're a CTF'er?

    Me: Yeaaaah. I wasn't doing anything bad!

    Mom: Good job son.

    Another example of how women want CTF'ers is to look at the success of @NomNuggetNom with @Birdgirl. Now, some of you might think I'm making this up but I beseech you to look at the following quote:

    4) You can always try catching attractive girls IRL with a REALLY big butterfly net - but I don't particularly recommend this method.

    -Admiral

    @wintergreen3 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    @Shawn_
    @AriesRam10
    @Chopo101
    @BAWSS5
    @Viva
     
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    #1 EmperorTrump45, Sep 24, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2015
  2. Subjugating

    Subjugating Well-Known Member

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    Nice guide! It is explained very well, and goes into alot of key details!1!1!
     
    #2 Subjugating, Sep 24, 2015
  3. Ironic_Gentleman

    Ironic_Gentleman Well-Known Member

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    You're doing it wrong!1 >:L
     
    #3 Ironic_Gentleman, Sep 24, 2015
  4. wintergreen3

    wintergreen3 Delta Force Leader | Staff Manager | CTF Admin

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    WHY AM I TAGGED WITH THAT REALLY CREEPY FACE
    help ;-;
     
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    #4 wintergreen3, Sep 24, 2015
  5. GetShadowRealmed

    GetShadowRealmed What do I put here

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    Lol. Good luck, :stuck_out_tongue:
     
    #5 GetShadowRealmed, Sep 24, 2015
  6. Andrwe

    Andrwe Well-Known Member

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    Works pretty well, caught 3 butterflys (one was a monarch) and two womens when I brought out the ol' net.
     
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    #6 Andrwe, Sep 24, 2015
  7. Turmac

    Turmac Hardcore Games Enthusiast

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    It works 10/10
     
    #7 Turmac, Sep 24, 2015
  8. EmperorTrump45

    EmperorTrump45 Dank Memer

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    I dunno...

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
     
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    #8 EmperorTrump45, Sep 24, 2015
  9. iamdroone

    iamdroone returned

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    Is it supposed to be sexist? But anyways nice guide
     
    #9 iamdroone, Sep 24, 2015
  10. Sir_Inge

    Sir_Inge Well-Known Member

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    My guide on how to catch girls IRL:
    1. Be Zach Efron
    2. If you can't do 1, try to be really nice to her. Be cool though, and act casual despite any feelings you may have. If she's having problems in a class, help her. If she needs a favor, be the first to do it. Make her laugh. Try to understand her sense of humor and play to it. Talk about what she wants to hear about, not what new video game you found or how you ace CS:GO.
    3. After you do 2, ask her out. CASUALLY. "Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to go out, like, to the movies or something. Like, a date." If she hesitates or says maybe (or no), make sure you downplay your feelings and act COOL. "Yeah, no, it's fine, it's cool."
    At that point you're going to have to settle for friends, and wait at least 6 months before trying again.
    4. If she says yes, then you can pump up the niceness to a high level, but don't rush things and still be funny and friendly.
     
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    #10 Sir_Inge, Sep 24, 2015
  11. wintergreen3

    wintergreen3 Delta Force Leader | Staff Manager | CTF Admin

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    o_o
     
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    #11 wintergreen3, Sep 24, 2015
  12. Sir_Inge

    Sir_Inge Well-Known Member

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    #Admiralgreen3-2k15
    I ship
     
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    #12 Sir_Inge, Sep 24, 2015
  13. kyuudaime_hokage

    kyuudaime_hokage Member

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    Don't let it sink
     
    #13 kyuudaime_hokage, Sep 25, 2015
  14. Snowleak14

    Snowleak14 Well-Known Member

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    in
     
    #14 Snowleak14, Sep 25, 2015
  15. redslime

    redslime Lead Developer

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    #15 redslime, Sep 25, 2015
  16. Krabzz

    Krabzz Active Member

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    q;^))
     
    #16 Krabzz, Sep 25, 2015
  17. SoCool21

    SoCool21 Bans Reports & Appeals Admin | McPvPer for Life <3

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    works for me
     
    #17 SoCool21, Sep 25, 2015
  18. TheZombieKat

    TheZombieKat CTFer since May 2012

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    I tried this out on my girlfriend, and it didn't change her at all. Did I do something wrong? ;-; Or does it only work on girls you're not already with?
     
    #18 TheZombieKat, Sep 25, 2015
  19. EmperorTrump45

    EmperorTrump45 Dank Memer

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    Besides your gf probably already sees you as 6 foot and tan so you don't really need to convince her any further of your manly manliness do you? :smuggrin:
     
    #19 EmperorTrump45, Sep 25, 2015
  20. sateburger

    sateburger Active Member

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    instructions unclear
    turned gay and have a boyfriend now
     
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    #20 sateburger, Sep 25, 2015
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