What is the best anti-joke you have ever heard???

a policeman shoots a robber, ¿Whos the bad guy?
-The joke -_-
-When did i say it was a joke?

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.


An Irishman walks out of a bar.


How do you confuse a blond?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.


Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.


What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.


What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.


Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?

Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.


What is the biggest lie in the universe?

I told the truth.

I have a a sort of racist one:

Why are black people so good at basketball?

because they know how to run, shoot, and steal

 

How did German men pick up Jewish women in the 1940s? With a dustpan and brush.