Revenge

A random flying taco takes the bullet for me. Then in my rage I start hurtling salsa and nacho cheese at you. You die of loss of air cuz the salsa blocked your nose and mouth.

 

...except I'm wearing a scuba mask.
I pull the radio transmitter from my pouch and hurl it at you with as much force as I can muster. The small steel sphere instantly attaches itself to your outer clothing, having been slathered with excessive amounts of adhesive earlier. Your eyes grow wide as you realize what I've done, even as I'm sending the 'FIRE' signal to the tracking orbital cannon, which happens to be situated directly overhead. You open your mouth to shout, but a massive pulse of white energy stops you, instantly vaporizing your body and everything near it.
Meh, just practicing storywriting :v

 

Hah! You vaporized my body? I had a hazmat suite! I immediately shoot a RPG at you.

 

[Characterize: Luna]
Instinctively, I summon a simple energy absorption shield around me. The sphere of magical force absorbs the impact of the rocket, but the explosion unsteadies me. The shield flickers out of existance. Thinking quickly, I bring up a shield matrix I remember Twilight showing me. A small sphereical shield formulates in front of me. Using my horn, I start spinning it, while simultaneously tesselating its surface. Unsettled by the display of magical prowess, you fire another rocket at me, which I divert using an energy vortex. The shield spins faster and faster, gaining energy as I add more momentum. I redefine the figure again, and you watch as the shield resolves into a tetrahedron. Crackling with magical energy, I launch the now-pointed shield in your direction, the shape still spinning insanely fast -- for all purposes, it's a spherical magical buzzsaw. And it's flying through the air. Flying straight towards your face.
*crunch*
Inspiration: iisaw

 

Then I do something that takes so much skill! I duck.

 

Then the duck jumps up behind you and eats you.

 

I cut open the ducks stomach and get out

 

Please, Fire port IV armor and thorns, and I have fire resistant potions! The thorns makes the fire go back to you!

 

Welcome to ****ing destiny! I fly away to mars!

 

I make a ban appeal and it gets accepted cause I was in a ship so it wasn't 'fly hacks' I get clan TACT ready to annihilate you!

 

I give up...
But wait! Chickenputty notices your skill aura and bans you for DayZ and uses his Puttylicous powers to bring me back to life.

 

I track your internet and you get banned for DDoS

 

The police don't take orders from psychos they arrest you instead and put you in a mental hospital :3