Walrus Creek is the worst thing ever

0-m-g

And I gotta admit... that's a pretty apt summation of my feelings about this map. Like, OH MY GOD why is THIS in the rotation? Walrus Creek? Hahahaha more like BULLSH*T Creek if you know what I'm sayin???

Like seriously, words cannot describe just how genuinely terrible this map is. The flagroom is literally possible to defend, unless you're an assassin or some other superpowerful class. Why do I say that? Because peeps are coming from EVERYWHERE. Look one way and there's a Mage doing some OP bullsh*t and look the other way and BOOM! You get assassinated and die. Or maybe freaking @CERBiZ or some other PVP god takes you out to the woodshed and gives you a whumpin. Oh yeah, did I mention that the flagroom is headshottable? THE FLAGROOM IS HEADSHOTTABLE. WHY. WHO MADE THIS? WHAT PURPOSE WAS IT MADE FOR? WAS IT YOU OBAMA? WAS IT?? I KNEW IT WAS YOU SOCIALISTS!!!

Because if that flagroom was meant to piss people off trying to defend it, then in the words of George W. Bush "Mission accomplished!!!" because it's just such a joy! I mean, I really get a kick out of taking a sh*tload of damage from falling off the obnoxious structures all the damn time because there's all these damn mages running through the flagroom like its a damned concessions stand at Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens and they keep spamming their lightning like a customer raining dollar bills in a strip club.

But no, that's not the worst of it. If you want to heal and need to get back to your spawn because all the Medics are out smokin weed back in some wagon out in Bumf*ck North Dakota then good luck buddy! Because once you get out of that spawn, unless you're Elf, Soldier, or Ninja, there ain't no turnin back! It's like telling your mom you'll help her with the dishes cause y'know, you're such a kind little sweetums (or whatever the hell mom's call their munchkins these days). You wash like five dishes and you're like "screw this" but then your mom gives you that look and YOU KNOW that you better finish washing those dishes until your hands turn into pink little raisins cause mom needs a day off! Point is, you can't go back to playing Rocket League or Pokemon Go or whatever the hell kids do these days (I was homeschooled).

Same thing in SATAN Creek.

Then you have the sponges. You miss your sponge and you plunge like a million blocks and take a sh*tton of damage. Even if you do take the sponge you can miss your jump and again you take a ton of damage. But, if you do everything perfectly, you can still in about as much time as it takes Melanka Trump to plagiarize Michelle Obama. How? Because there's about five thousand Archer's firing at you like the hounds from hell. Move to the left? You're dead. Move to the right? Still dead. Give them the people's elbow? Stillll dead! Just like hell there is no escape. And hell, as we all know, is the work of Satan. Just like this map.

It's almost as if its an allegory about life, about the pointlessness, the utter futility of our existence.

Even if you do EVERYTHING RIGHT you still get pwned. Damn, that's some deep sh*t right there. Snowtucs you're a goddamn philosopher with this map you know that?

I know some people will come in here and say "but Admiral you've never made a map before!! why u criticizing people's hard work hehehrahruurrrrr?!?!?!" well actually I have. I made a map called Sewers and it was the third most worst thing ever (next to Socialism and THIS MAP). So, as someone who knows about making really terrible maps I know a bad map when I see one. And SATAN Creek is one of those.

Thank you for your time. Please remove this map. That's all I want for Christmas. This map gone and some busty Asian girls (@ArcticGalaxy) serenading the hell out of me. Is that so much to ask?

-Admiral

@TheZombieKat