Story TOM - The Legend of the Forehead

Kid: Hey Dad is that a mountain?

Dad: No.

Kid: Then what is it?

Dad: It's Tom's forehead.

...

Janice: Oh cool I got a postcard from my boyfriend!

Heather: Yeah? Where from?

Janice: China. He's there with some exchange students

Heather: Nice. What did he send you?

Janice: Um, I don't know. *Janice looks at back of postcard* OH MY GOD!

Heather: What is it?

Janice: He sent me a picture of him at the Great Wall of China! Here, look! *Janice hands postcard to Heather*

Heather: Uh Jan, that's not the Great Wall of China.

Janice (confused): It's not?!

Heather: No, it's Tom's forehead.

...

Chap: You know the only thing that's bigger than our Lobby?

Putty: No

Chap: Tom's forehead.

...

Gen. John Kelly: Mr. President, the missile is in place. We are prepared to nuke Olympus Mons.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Olympus Mons is a 32,000 ft. high mountain located on Mars)

President Trump: John that is so great to hear. When we launch this thing you're going to see an explosion like you wouldn't believe. Absolutely unbelievable

Gen. John Kelly: I'm glad to hear it sir -

President Trump: The explosion will be so big, like really big OK? It will be so, so big. Even bigger than our margin of victory in Ohio. And boy did we win Ohio...

Gen. John Kelly: Sir...

President Trump: I also had a tremendous crowd at my inauguration. Did you see all those people John? Incredible, absolutely incredible. Tons of people. All around the Lincoln memorial and back.

Gen. John Kelly: If I may sir, those were protesters.

President Trump: FAKE NEWS!

Gen. John Kelly: Sir?

President Trump: We have alternative facts, OK John? Alternative facts, not whatever comes out of the FAKE NEWS media. My inauguration was the biggest ever. Even bigger than that terrible massacre at Bowling Green -

Gen. John Kelly: Yes sir but there is a matter that requires your urgent attention.

President Trump: What? Someone trespassing at Mar-A-Lago? Golf clubs missing from Trump resort?

Gen. John Kelly: No sir. Something even more serious-

President Trump: Is CNN being mean to me again?

Gen. John Kelly: No sir... if you would allow me to finish...

President Trump: I'm sorry John. I've been so paranoid lately. All this FAKE NEWS drives me up the wall. Very bad!

Gen. John Kelly: Well I'm sorry to tell you but we've chosen the wrong target for the missile.

President Trump: Where is it headed? CNN's newsroom?

Gen. John Kelly: No sir. Tom's forehead

...

Attorney Gen. Sessions: Mr. President we have found a cost efficient way to keep out illegals from Mexico.

President Trump: What? Is Mexico going to pay for the wall?

Attorney Gen. Sessions: No sir. Tom's forehead.

...

HUBBLE TELESCOPE READING ~ JAN. 2027

Now orbiting Planet TF49H "Tom's forehead"

Projected time to orbit - 500 years

...

Christian Youth Minister: OK kids, to close we're going to sing one of my favorite songs. It's called "Deep and Wide"

Tom: They made a song about my forehead?

................

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