Admiral's Necro Rework: The Return of the Scream Jar

Disclaimer: I do not think everyone should drop everything and rework Necro. I think Necro should be reworked Necro at the same time as reworking OP/instant kill classes.

Necro. Like the infamous incognito shoes it serves no discernible purpose!



that photo lol ^^

Yes, I know some mods and staff are going to be like "not this again". Well yeah, it is this again. You're damned tootin'. Like the Hangover Part II, this thread is back except it is many, many times better than the Hangover Part II could ever be.

Many moons ago a friend of mine bought Necro for me as a gift. Oh yes... Sasha... She was a very pretty person, tall, with dark hair, and the most beautiful eyes you'd ever see on a woman. The night was warm with a soft breeze from the east, and in my perverted teenage mind it was the perfect time for a little frisky business... AHEM

Sorry I got a bit off track there. The point is, someone bought Necro for me a while ago and dammit it was fun at one time. I could get kills! I could chillax, have a bagel and laugh manically as my zombies racked up a big kill streak for me. That was fun! I was like,

"I LOVE THIS CLASS!"

Seriously, the only other thing I have ever felt more affection for aside from pre nerfed Necro is my mom and Necro's coming in at a pretty close second. The class was incredibly decent. It was probably the most decent class in the game.

Then someone decided this was too OP. Someone decided that Necro needed a nerf. Someone went all Darth Vader on Necro and nerfed it into oblivion. I just imagine someone looking at Necro and being like

"I find your lack of nerfs disturbing..."

lol. Seriously though, whoever that someone or someones was is not the point. The point is,

"The class SUCKS DONKEY DONG bro!"

I'm not being comedic here, Necro does really suck donkey dong. Okay maybe I'm embellishing a little. But the fact is, current, sh*tty, weak ass Necro sucks more than an Adam Sandler movie and that is saying something. I mean, with an Adam Sandler movie at least I can get RID of the darn thing when I'm done with it but with Necro you can't even get a refund! I may not have bought Necro personally, but I feel like Sasha's money has been WASTED. Oh you spent $2.50 on Necro? Welp, good luck getting a return out of that!



I'm tired of talking to the hand.

Seriously, Necro is not even worth the $2.50 it costs. That is sad. The only thing that shouldn't be even worth that kind of money is used underwear, or maybe a copy of Scary Movie 5. Essentially, buying Necro is like buying a pair of undies someone's already sh*t in. Would you want that? I definitely wouldn't. I don't care how many times they've washed it, I don't want that sh*t! All humor aside here's why Necro's not even worth a freaking Chuck-E-Cheese token in hell to buy:

1) Necro is a weaker tank than Heavy with lower armor and lower damage output and Heavy is a FREE class.

2) Necro's zombies do even less than the oompa loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When I was playing Medic and got attacked my enemy zombies they did half a heart of damage per hit, which I instantly regenerated. I can deal more attack damage IRL with one punch! And I'm six feet, weigh 115 pounds, with almost no muscle, and I'm STILL stronger than Necro's zombies. Middle school girls can probably deal more damage in a single slap to the face than Necro's zombies could do in seven blocky hugs!

3) Necro's minions die very quickly.

4) Necro's minions wander everywhere. Seriously, these things have less intelligence than Anastasia Steele in Fifty Shades of Stupid and she was in love with a Satist! Look, I know zombies aren't supposed to be Jimmy Neutrons or anything but come on, they wander all over the map, they're slow as crap, and they go off the map into the freaking void! Why the HECK can't you control the damn things either? I mean, what good is it to spawn monsters if you can't control them? Just imagine what would have happened to the Empire in Star Wars if they couldn't control their storm-troopers? There sure as hell wouldn't have been much of an empire or a First Order for starters. And that's what we're looking at with Necro folks. The end of the empire.

5) No class screams REWORK ME more than Necro.

Now, I know some of you are going to be like, Admiral we've already heard this man... and you know you have a point. I shouldn't have to repeat myself over and over about this. I don't think players should have to beg for a Necro rework for over a year only to get everything they didn't want. I even asked Santa for a Necro rework this Christmas and even SANTA didn't deliver on it. Yes, not even Tim Allen (The Santa Clause) could get a Necro rework.

Necro is a terrible class. That's no secret. Just try using it! Okay, well it's not totally useless. It's the only class in the game you can play for maximum effect while not actually sitting at the computer.

I play the class, or I just chill out and eat Doritos, I get the same result man. Also, Necro is the only class whose special abilities are actually even weaker and more pointless than Elf's. I mean, Necro's zombies are even less useful than Elf's freaking water element, and that element is less used than a segway! And I haven't seen someone on that frickin' thing for 3 years lol.

Anyway I digress.

What boggles my mind is that somehow Brawl and McPVP combined have managed to add 2 classes (Elf and Mage), rework Pyro, Soldier, and Chemist. Tweak Medic. Practically rebuild Engineer, and nerf/tweak Ninja in several ways and we still do not only not have a Necro rework but NO Necro rework has been as much as proposed publicly by ANY staff member since WiKi_KiKi proposed one like a year ago on Discord forums.

Gee, thank goodness we could focus on the important problems like nerfing an already wimpy ass class like Elf when we have a 'premium' class that is about as useful as the DVD Rewinder!

Doesn't that bother you a little bit? It sure as hell bothers me. People ask for a Necro rework, staff says "it's coming guys! (As soon as we think of one!)". People wait for several months. No rework. People make rework ideas during that time, ask for rework again. Staff give no response or say the same thing.

Trying to get a Necro rework is like trying to get Episode 43 of The Shadow of Israphel. Oh I'm sure it will happen once the tons of other things get done but how many months or years from now will that be? That's not good when this comparison is valid considering that a new episode of SoI hasn't come out in almost 3 years! I don't know about you but I don't have three years. For all we know McCTF will be gone by then.

Look, I'm aware that Nom and the other coders have loads of things to take care of but honestly, how hard would it be to just give the class a teensie little buff? As I remember, it only took a few complaints from salty Pyros to get Ninja's sword nerfed from Sharpness VI to Sharpness IV after Pyro got its rework.

I mean, maybe for starters zombies should deal a little more than 0.5 hearts of damage to a Medic per hit. Doesn't sound unreasonable to me, and hardly 'OP' considering that this is a game where the reworked version of Pyro can practically two shot people. But you know what else is so confusing about the lack of a Necro rework? That there's more Necro reworks in the suggestions/ideas section than for ANY other class in CTF!

Look, I've listed the threads for you:





lol one of them even says "Easily code-able" in the title.

There's TWO whole pages of reworks. 31 Results. Almost 31 suggested reworks. There should never be that many reworks of anything except of the script of Fifty Shades of Grey.



Point is, how many more reworks is it going to take before some action is taken on this class? How much more time is going to be spent on 'balancing' other already useful classes instead of fixing the useless one? Because right now, everyone who bought Necro deserves to get their money back. Including Sasha.

Thanks for your time. With righteous anger,

-Admiral

@KappaAce
@pookeythekid
@wintergreen3
@BAWSS5

 

Okay. I'm just wondering why Necro couldn't at least get a small buff (not a rework) that would make the class somewhat useful? As @pookeythekid pointed out, it didn't take much for Elf's wind element to get nerfed, so why is it taking this long to give Necro a very well deserved buff? I get that Nom has lots of things to work on aside from CTF, and I get that they are also important, but would it take that much time to at least tweak Necro?

I hear that ^_^ Thanks for the reply Bob.

P.S. No disrespect intended