Resignation I'm so sorry... Thank you all for everything...

I've been crying for the last 4 hours as I am writing this, so it may not make much sense but hopefully you will get the message.
Where to start, where to start where do I ****ing start? Perhaps that day exactly one year ago when I received a text that I was pended? When I first met Cuddled? Techdeck101? Danny? Caelon? Hitchens? I don't know... That's what has been going through my head for the past hour as I think about how I can sum up everything and put it into words... The issue is, I can't. There's too much... From the time I first applied for staff, til now, I have known one thing. I love brawl. Its been my home and place to hide from all of my issues and everything that has happened to me. It was a place I could go to forget everything, make friends, be kind to others because I knew they needed someone in their lives to be kind to them. So many people on this server just need someone to talk to. I have met so many people, so many stories that give me strength every day to continue living my life. I don't know how to thank you all for the help and strength you have all given me. You may not know it, but you might as well have saved my life many times. I now know that I'm not completely alone, I can't describe how much that means to me. I have met orphans, people who were abused, raped, left by their parents or run from them, committed suicide, fought wars, small issues like people who are being bullied, people whowill never walk again because his father stabbed him, so much pain, so much suffering, so much loss...
Yet they are here.
Brawl.
Remember that, the next time you flame someone. The next time you tell someone to kill them self. Think about it really hard before you do that. Remember that when you think your situation is awful, there is ALWAYS someone in a worse position than you are. This is why I am staff, and why I will be coming back. I can't be a bystander. I can't sit in the shadows and watch people be hurt, its my biggest weakness.
I remember when everyone told me "You will never be staff you ****ing ***got". Yet here I am.

Well I put it off long enough. Its time to take a break, and explain what has been going on with me. After spending 100-350 hours each month moderating since I got staff on here, well nothing I can say will do justice to what Brawl has done for me.
Thanks for running this server putty :3
Without further adieu,

Recently, a WildWest player betrayed me. I will not name him, but I know who you are. I have not said anything to you, nor will I. I just want you to know how much you hurt me. I trusted you.
He leaked how I was sexually abused from when I was 9-13 years old, who did it, where I was molested when I was 5, to another ex player of brawl named iMingo.
Mingo proceeded to blackmail me with it for about a week. I didn't give in, so he decided to create a youtube video with the entire thing and post it on the forums, on discord, and send it to many people who have been alting and spamming me about it with ridiculous obscenities.
Mingo, if you ever see this, know that I pray for you every day. I pray that you rot in the most painful, hottest depths of hell. Enjoy it.
After this happened, I was planning on resigning but for some reason I didn't. The reason was because I truly love brawl too much, even though my place of safety and shelter from my life was here, and was now compromised, I couldn't leave. Too many people counted on me. Too many people who needed me to talk to, to many people suffering. WildWest needed me.
Today I got a call about 45 minutes before an event was supposed to happen. My last friend irl, and my best friend, was just set to rehab for most likely 14 months, with a felony for the possession of cocaine. He was all I had left... He was literally all I had... He was basically a replacement for my father who beat me, my brother who abused me, and the friends I never had. Now I will never see him again, because he will not come back when he is finished.
I apologize to all of you for leaving. I can't be here during this. I will snap and I will say things I regret. Sorry.

Now for the tags.
@Sn4x5 @RyGuy We all got staff together, I wish I could go back to those days when we were in ts channels with cherry just talking time away and peacefully playing party together, ranting about stupid ****, and just being normal people.
@DarkTitan_ Maybe we will meet each other one day, I really do hope so, you have been more than anything I could have asked for.
@Hitchens Good luck with wildwest, you know we will stay in touch. Nothing more needed to say. True friends, and nothing more needed to say than that. Thank you. I believed in you when nobody else did, and I always have. Save it for me while I'm gone, maybe get smod. I WILL be back ): I just can't right now, you must understand. Please don't let the power get to your head, that's all I ask. Don't change who you really are.
@Chilled_67 Wish you stayed with me and helped me with wildwest. You used to be an amazing friend here, I hope you will feel welcome in the war staff team when you transfer, sorry I couldn't make you more welcome in WW
@Jay_C9 Thank you for being there when nobody else was, I'm glad I was able to help you get staff, you have done amazing. Don't let your anger get the best of you, and remember what I told you when you first applied :3
@Lord_Roke You have been so understanding and kind recently, thank you so much for that. I apologize for leaving wildwest, especially with a major update on the way, but there's only one step left for it. I can't thank you enough for all the work you have done over the past few years. You have literally held the server together, and now the staff team since @Canoodle left. Thank you. I don't think you hear those words enough.
@charlottethegirl my best female friend :3 No words to describe what we use to have, too bad we lost contact.
@AmbitionZ_ I'm so sorry you had to leave ): I miss you a lot. Wish we stayed in touch. I'll always be a sheep :3
@Nafsu Hey, ur ugly -.- Everyone Just Needs To ... :c Nafsu4jmod you will do really well if you go for it. Please do so! :33 Remember, napoleon, is ALWAYS right.
@Zqra You are a good kid, I really hope everything works out.
@Cameron I can't thank you enough for what you did for me, thank you. In case you were wondering, my cousin is not doing well, please keep praying for him.
@SnowCool21 Thank you for all of your help recently with all the issues that have come up, I can't thank you enough for what you did for me.
@JustFamouz I'm sorry you got caught up in everything in the mingo situation. You are a good person, remember that. Stay a legend of WW, thanks :3
@Eil My overly active buddy :3 (totally not salty about having 371 hours and you having 380 :VVVV) ANYWAYS, you are an amazing staff member, I really hope you continue helping with WW, we need you. You do amazing stuff for raid, keep it up no matter what people say.
@Carcano scum :3
@Keksolazio You are pretty chill, see you around xD
@TheMafias I wish you stayed around to get staff again, would have been nice to have someone dedicated back.
@Tjocko You are really dedicated, keep it up. I enjoyed working with you a lot.
@RitzyClaus your tag was supposed to be right here, idk what happened but half the tags were deleted.
You helped me at one of my worst moments and I can't thank you enough for it. Thank you. Please keep warz in shape like you have been, for me and snacks :3 go get smod.

The thread was too long, so heres the rest. I posted it without realizing I went over the limit. Half the tags got deleted :c
@Miskey #BringBackHG!!! I believe in you xd
@Pyrotheum we need you as a JMOD :c I'm sorry that nobody can see that... Good luck ):
@Maryland @ChicknSlayr Do great things for warz, I'm glad I helped you both get staff. Gratz on mod finally but **** YOU FOR TAKING MY NAME! :3 ily tho xd
@Fadaad8 you are my favorite sheriff, I can't thank you enough for everything you did for me, you deserve JMOD, maybe we can apply together when I'm back :3
@Droiid don't let anyone bring you down, you deserve better.
@WildWest community, THANK YOU ALL ILY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be back some day, sorry for leaving you all...

There are too many ****ing tags to put in... If I missed you PM me ;c Sorry :c You all know who you are, thank you for having an influence on my life, good, bad, or otherwise. ily you all. You all made a difference in my life.

Oh and btw MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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