Resignation Closing Up Shop

As you can tell by the title, this is my resignation from the staff team. This may come as a surprise to many of you, but there are a few reasons why I am deciding to do this, as this is probably unexpected, and I will explain them all in this thread.

Environment, CTF Ideas Council (CIC), Personal Relations​

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Preface: The CIC are CTF staff members whose job it is to use their own thoughts and feedback from the community to implement changes into the game.


We all have friends on this game. Those people or groups you hop in a call with each night just to have fun and relax. Whether that be your official team, longtime friends, or just a random group of players, we have all been here before. My point is, this is fun, you can be yourself, and you feel welcome. The staff team is simply not the same, and this is a problem. I have many friends on this game, some I met many years ago, and some I met just this year. The great thing is you can meet people anytime and those friendships can be greatly fulfilling. It pains me to say I do know some these people, but many are just players I know as Yinscape, Lord_Roke, Paul, Snail_5_, Atum, Charlie_0014, CoCaptainBlue, Eil, Carnotauros, Necromancer51572, xxMinesheepxx, Yairster. There you have it, a list of people who I worked beside for approximately a year without knowing them past letters and numbers on a screen. For the others, although our conversations are almost always surface level generic exchanges, we have spoken in the past and these conversations have helped me feel more comfortable and know you as a person. I admit, I could have done better, I can message each one of these people and try to become better acquainted with these people. But, remember that this not just about me, I am sure almost everyone reading this would agree working with people you know is simply more productive and more enjoyable, and even if I chose to make the effort with these people, would they make the effort with each other? This is a very long-winded way of saying there should be options available for the staff members to get to know each other a little bit more. This way, there will be better communication and an overall warmer environment. I am not asking everyone to be best friends, just know each other a little more.


I will transition into talking about the CIC. Here, since I am with CTF staff, I know these people. I still, however, find myself being uncomfortable in voice calls (meetings). Imagine you are with a group of people who have known each other for an extended period of time and they know you as “[insert your name here].” Sure, they know you but they know each other more. If you take a look at the CTF staff members, an overwhelming number are part of The Crusaders. I love TC, they are a great group of people who clearly are friendly and support each other. From my example earlier, they simply know each other personally whereas I do not fit into that category. They are a welcoming group of people and of course never shut anyone out, I understand why you would not be aware of how I (or others) may feel. In calls, I felt weird trying to contribute and talk when I did not feel part of the group. This was not a problem for anyone else I noticed, other staff members were more than comfortable in calls. I gave my word to continually contribute and be there, and by not being comfortable I can no longer contribute as much as I want to. This is not a problem within the staff team by any means, this is simply another factor that is contributing to my resignation, I just did not feel comfortable speaking in a group setting like the CIC presents.


Lastly, personal relations. This is going to be rather brief: I am my own person. My friends have done bad things? Fine. My friends have made some toxic statements? Not denying it. My team has a toxic history? Fair enough. Yes, I can see all these things because I am surrounded by them each day, but because my friend does it does not mean I am the same way. Nothing bothers me more than being written off right away because “Olympus” or some other reason. I never encouraged toxic behavior, I am not responsible for the actions of my teammates or friends, and I surely wish I was given the opportunity to be my own person, not be given a pre-conceived reputation based on outside factors.

Hackers​

Brawl staff receives a lot of criticism for not being efficient with discipling hackers. I just spent 9 months as a moderator, I can tell you with certainty that it is not as easy as it seems. The new BAC update and anticheat is a great step in the right direction, but before then we lacked a lot of sophisticated measures that other popular servers had. Staff are put in between a rock and a hard place when it comes to this. Nobody gets banned and you receive flame, people get banned and the same happens. I had to deal with plenty of PMs and engage in many discussions about this. While I agree that some things need to be reformed, I want you to understand that things are being done each and every day. I did a quick metric on my experience with this, and I spent a very scary amount of time watching and recording cheaters, regulars or not. Put some trust in these people who spend countless hours to record and discuss this kind of stuff, it is a thankless task that deserves more respect than it gets.

Trust
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Trust. Here we go. I was a moderator, I know what watching a hacker looks like, I have done it hundreds of times at this point. I know when I am being watched, when all the signs are there and it struck me for the first time, well you can imagine how terrible I felt about myself. I applied because I wanted to help resolve this issue of cheaters, and for my own colleagues to think I would go out and contribute to this problem, wow… I’m really at a loss here - did everything I said about wanting to help Brawl just go out the window? I record everything I do (public, private, or unlisted), many people know this, there is one video on my channel that has something you could call suspicious, and feel free to message me and I’ll point you to that exact moment. Back to the point, however, I hope you understand that the divide I felt was real. Of course the six staff members who had a role in watching me never let me know, and having to face them is so defeating. They saw me as a source of the problem, not a solution. I was being watched on my alternate account, and I wanted to think this was all just my mind, they would not actually think I was cheating, right? Well after three or four days of using the account it was clear they did suspect me, so I gave that account up in fear of being false banned and the amount of shame I would have to face from the community if this happened to me. I recorded and uploaded all those sessions I played. I play on Badlion exclusively with the server-side anticheat, I know this does not make me invincible to cheating. However in every single one of the sessions I played on my ALT I used Lunar. I recorded myself fighting on the server that is sponsored with Lunar Client’s anticheat before switching over to Brawl. Yeah you can argue I did not toggle on that server and decided to start toggling on Brawl or I decided to cut the video in transitioning to brawl, but Lunar Client’s anticheat would have had to have been enabled and it would have been incredibly risky for me to inject into my client with the client anticheat on, playing extensively on the server that is paired with this client’s anticheat and most likely get banned and also put that much effort into covering up my “cheating” by cutting the video would make no sense. I am not cheating in the first place and I had no obligation to upload my sessions or prove anything to anyone, but I did it anyway. In my recordings I played the same way I normally do, everything is the same as it is in every single public video on my channel. I’m not a cheater, I never have been and I never will be, it is incredibly unfortunate to hear that my fellow staff members thought I would do this, and it shows the level of trust they had for me.

Perception of staff from the community’s eyes and relationships.​

The community, at least in CTF, does not seem to be particularly fond of the staff team. I had my fair share of dealings with this and despite what I said above, I appreciate and respect every single person’s work they do for the server and for the community. Remember these people are people, they are volunteers who are spending time out of their day to try to improve your experience. We have something special here, this game has done a lot for me. When I started my journey on McPvP in 2012 I met so many wonderful people through this game. I have had some amazing times being with the people in this community. Step back and thank the staff team for wanting to keep this community alive, without it, a lot of relationships and good times would have been lost. I really would like to thank my fellow CTF staff members for all they do, I appreciate you all greatly.

Tags: Keeping it brief.​

@SoCool21 & @Miskey: You two were the two staff members who I wanted to model my character after. The integrity and honesty that you guys did your duties with was exemplary to say the least. Thank you both for being there to set a strong example for me, while one of you has moved on from the staff team, your influence and hard work will always be something I look up to. And Tom, I know you have been through a lot, but keep your head up and stay true to what you know is right.


@Lceman502: Definitely my closest friend over the past couple years. Thank you for always being around when I needed it. I am glad we were able to start our own CTF team and were able to stay dedicated to it.I am happy to have been a part of creating such a strong team and enjoyable group to be around.


@Aussi @Participated @Slurp_ @Paddishly @LegendOfPinkLink: Thank you for helping Jayden and I lead OLY and help us grow. I know you guys will be able to keep it going for a very long time. Keep gaming.

@Olympus: About to be our 2 year anniversary and it has been a great time. I am happy that I was able to help us stay alive for as long as we have. Glad to know each and every one of you.


@Wheelchairs: All of you guys have been great. I think this group has taught me something. We created a Mineplex team as a way to have fun and mess around, but it has turned into more than that. I enjoy joking around with you guys and just chatting about life, appreciate you guys being such an open and supportive group.